Why I Decided Not to Host My Own Cooking Show

Today, as I was trying to make several different recipes at once for a special celebration of our family, I began to get frustrated because things just weren't going well. Then I thought about how I came to the decision to give up cooking (obviously, I was having second thoughts about that decision, because here I was, frantically trying to chop, stir, and layer, all at the same time). I remembered that when my children left home I needed to make a decision about cooking and considered the pros of cooking in a home with no children:

1. I would get to lick all the bowls and spoons myself.
2. I wouldn't have to share any of the finished foods if I didn't want to.
3. I wouldn't have to listen to complaints about how it doesn't taste like so and so's mom makes it.

But then I had also weighed the cons:

1. I would gain a lot of weight.
2. I wouldn't have anyone I could force into cleaning up my mess (and I am a really messy cooker -- see photo).
3. Most of the time I mess up the recipe and it doesn't taste like I used to make it.

So then I thought about my options. My first option would be to have my own TV cooking show -- this would allow me to:

1. cook whatever I wanted, plus the ingredients would all be pre-measured and ready to pour into the bowl or pot or whatever..
2. be as messy as I want because someone else would get paid to clean up my mess.
3. not be stressed out about gaining weight because other people could eat part of whatever it was so that I wouldn't eat it all myself.

It didn't take long to rule out this first option on the mere fact that I am not that great a cook and probably even if someone agreed to let me go on the air, no one would actually watch the show.

So that left me with option #2 which was to give up cooking in any formal sort of way (hotdogs and grilled cheese sandwiches don't really count.). This would mean that:

1. I could spend more time making reservations at restaurants around town.
2. Someone else would get paid to clean up my mess.
3. I could invite someone to dinner and they can eat whatever they want.

This is obviously the choice I made -- it's a no-brainer! Why, oh why, do I keep second -guessing myself like I did today? It always ends up with me being really tired, the food being mostly so-so, and nobody really caring that I made it myself! Sigh. 

(And then there's that thing about gaining weight, which seems to be a factor no matter which choice you make....)